Danielle B. Grossman

Cassandra Syndrome

 

You are not alone. I have worked for two decades with people grappling with the loneliness, frustration and pain of being in a relationship with someone you love, and who you think loves you too, but who is not able to see you or be there for you in fundamental ways. 

 

I have been honored to be a part of the process of my clients getting stronger and stronger, more clear about their own needs and more capable of finding peace with the relationship and connection with their partner.

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What I see commonly with my clients:

 

Many wonder…

 

‘How can my partner be so loving and wonderful in some ways but also act in ways that are uncaring, selfish, distant or even mean?’

 

‘How come they are usually so calm and capable but then flip into defensiveness and negative projections onto me when I try to talk to them about things I need from them or are upset with them about?’
 

Many Feel…

 

Self-doubt  Frustration  Rage  Loneliness 

Emptiness    Anxious    Depressed   Resentment  

Embarrassment  Shame   Shut Down   Stuck 

Misunderstood   Rejected   Dismissed  Invisible 

Confused    Angry   Conflicted    Pain   Hurt 

Many are Questioning…

 

‘Is this emotional abuse?’ 

 

‘Are they a Narcissist?’ 

 

 ‘Is this gaslighting?’

 

‘Do I stay or go?’ 

 

‘Maybe I am just too sensitive/too needy/too emotional?’ (Doubting own reality)
 

Many are Experiencing…

 

Walking on eggshells 

 

Lack of understanding from others 

 

Burn-out from all of it 

 

Energetic suppression 

 

Physical symptoms 

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For many (not all) of my clients, these experiences overlay with long-standing relational wounds from childhood or young adulthood where there may have been:

 

Neglect

 

Emotional or energetic mismatch between parent(s) and child 

 

Emotionally or socially immature parent(s)

 

Parents with addiction patterns 

 

Narcissistic parent(s) or siblings 

 

Verbal, Emotional, Physical and/or Sexual abuse 

 

Sibling with high care needs (illness/disability/addiction) 

 

Intergenerational Trauma (poverty, immigration, systemic violence, addiction, loss) 

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Therapy is a place where you are:

 

Seen

 

Heard 

 

Believed 

 

Understood 

 

Supported to process current and past trauma (if/when you choose) 

 

Supported to create a more compassionate, trusting and loving relationship with yourself 

 

Supported to heal/shift your own attachment patterns to become internally stronger and more stable 

 

Supported to feel more of a sense of choice and agency in the relationship 

 

Supported to develop tools to navigate when your partner is not being responsive to your needs 

 

Supported to develop tools to navigate when your partner has flipped into anger or meltdown 

 

Supported to grapple with the question of ‘do I stay or go?’

 

Supported to find effective ways to communicate with your partner 

 

Supported to find ways to maximize the love and connection with your partner 

 

Supported with boundary setting 

 

Supported to live within the both/and of a complicated relationship (they love me and they often aren’t loving toward me) 

 

Supported with the process of ending the relationship and rebuilding your life if that’s what you decide

 

Supported to strengthen other relationships and support systems 

 

Supported to find joy and lightness in your life