Lea Choi
What I Do: Helping Neurotypical Partners in Neurodiverse Marriages
Loving someone with autism or ADHD can be deeply rewarding—but it can also feel lonely, exhausting, and confusing.
Many neurotypical partners come to me feeling unseen, unheard, and emotionally neglected.
This overwhelming emotional isolation and burnout—often called Cassandra Syndrome—is something I help neurotypical partners navigate.
If you’re feeling like you’re married to someone who just doesn’t see you, if your needs for connection and intimacy have been dismissed for years, if you’re constantly questioning whether your expectations are fair, I want you to know this:
You’re not crazy. You’re not asking for too much. And you’re not alone.
Through therapy, we work to deconstruct the painful stories that have left you feeling trapped and invisible—and reconstruct a new path forward, whether that means creating a healthier dynamic with your partner or reclaiming your own sense of self.
Who I Am
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A Married Parent – I understand firsthand the complexities of partnership and the emotional toll of carrying more than your fair share.
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Committed to Deconstructing Harmful Narratives – I help neurotypical partners challenge the internalized belief that their emotions are "too much" or that they just need to "be more understanding."
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Deeply Curious About Relationships – I specialize in understanding neurodiverse-NT relationships and how chronic emotional neglect impacts the neurotypical partner.
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Experienced in Working with High-Responsibility Partners – Many of my clients feel like the only adult in their relationship, carrying the mental load, emotional labor, and social responsibilities alone.
Main Areas of Focus
The Cassandra Trap: Why Your Relationship Feels So Lonely
Many neurotypical partners in neurodiverse relationships experience Cassandra Syndrome—the devastating feeling of being unseen, unheard, and emotionally starved while others dismiss their reality.
This happens because your experience and your partner’s experience exist in completely different realities.
The Common Cassandra Experience:
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Emotional Deprivation – Feeling like your emotional needs are dismissed, minimized, or simply never acknowledged.
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Chronic Miscommunication – Having the same frustrating conversations over and over with no real change.
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Feeling Like a Caregiver, Not a Partner – Managing everything from bills to social connections while your spouse remains emotionally unavailable.
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Lack of Reciprocity – Constantly giving without receiving, whether it's in emotional connection, physical affection, or shared responsibilities.
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Gaslighting & Self-Doubt – Wondering if you’re the problem, if you’re expecting too much, or if you just need to "accept" things the way they are.
Many of my clients tell me:
"I feel like I’m married, but I’ve never felt more alone."
This emotional starvation isn’t just "a rough patch"—it’s a slow erosion of your sense of self, your confidence, and your ability to feel joy in your own life.
The most damaging part of Cassandra Syndrome isn’t just the loneliness—it’s the story you’ve been forced to accept about yourself:
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“I’m too needy.”
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“I should just be more patient.”
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“I can’t leave because they can’t function without me.”
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“I need to stop complaining—things aren’t that bad.”
But what if that story isn’t the truth?
Take the Next Step
You don’t have to live invisible.
You don’t have to spend your life begging for scraps of connection.
And you don’t have to keep carrying a relationship that leaves you emotionally starving.
It’s time to rewrite your story—one where you are valued, where your needs matter, and where you stop waiting for your partner to change before you start living again.
If you're ready to take the next step, please feel free to schedule a free consultation with me. I'd love to support you on your journey!